Job History.

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn’t concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job, and people liked to hem and haw about the price.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but anyway I sliced it…. couldn’t cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, But, the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. So, I tried RETIREMENT and I found I'm perfect for this job!!